I wish you were here. But you're not; you're there. And there doesn't know how lucky it is.

Once in a lifetime, right in the middle of an ordinary life, life gives you a fairytale :)

2009-06-10T22:52:00.000-07:00

So here's the deal. With me its all or nothing. I love completely or I don't love at all so you have a choice to make. Do you want all of me or none? I know its extreme but here's the thing; you're the one thing in my life I'm sure about. For me, there's no choice because I've already decided. Pick me like I picked you.

I'll be with you forever .

2009-06-07T03:46:00.000-07:00

What was the last thing that you ate?
-Nasi kandar ; that was like, lunch.haha.

What's on your mind right now?
-Uh..haha

Who was the last person you got a message from?
-Farah

What is one thing you cant live without?
-Errrr. My cell phone? :)

What are you doing now?
-Writing this damn survey

What song is currently playing in your itunes?
-Kelly Clarkson-Sober

Did you go out today?
No..

Are you bored?
Hell yeahhhhhhh

Who are you missing?
Rid :(

How are you feeling right now?
Sad mad confused dunno

Are you hungry?
Yes...YES I AM !!!!

Gone baby, gone.

2009-06-04T21:45:00.000-07:00

Am I confused, or what? It's like for a second you were there, and then you're not. I care for you more that you ever know, and you will never know. Why is is so hard for you to understand? Okay, okay. So maybe I'm just exaggarating or something. But I hate to admit that you're my first thought in the morning and my last before I go to bed. I cant get over you. You will always be in my heart,and my thoughts forever. I mean, forever. Maybe someday you will wake up and see that no one can love you as much as I do. :)

2009-06-01T21:53:00.000-07:00

OHMYGOD.

2009-06-01T20:24:00.000-07:00

Kim?? :S

2009-05-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

Oh oh. Megan fox is a man? wtf ? omg..hahaha if megan fox is a man then all the guys who are after "her" would turn into gays..i mean how is it POSSIBLE? :O omg !!

2009-05-29T22:05:00.001-07:00

So now, holidays is here!! Two weeks of blasttt cant waitt . Oh yeah Im over him; like 100% over him. It feels good,I feel so, free? Ahahaha. Yea well that's good. Now Im just going to move on, and be happy no matter what gets in the way cause Im not going to let any other deepshit guy bring me down anymore :)

if you want me, then fight for me because I'm done fighting the hell for you.

2009-05-29T01:56:00.000-07:00

because your beautiful and you don’t know it. because your smart and you don’t believe it. you are the kind of girl guys don’t get over and you’re the girl other girls get compared too.
actions speak louder than words. therefore, no need for me to say shit. im a motherfucking verb.

when i think about every other gorgeous girl who likes you now, i wonder why i even try .

2009-05-29T01:49:00.000-07:00

ill be the first to admit that im not perfect. my lifes a wreck and the only thing holding me up is the hope that things might gett better. ive got some friends that will die for me, and others that would kill me, i remember when i used to be the happiest, loudest, spunkiest girl alive. nothing could get me down for very long. i smiled all the time and laughed non stop. Ahahahaha. #Blank.

2009-05-28T19:00:00.001-07:00

I skipped school today, cause it's teachers day. So now Im going out for breakfast with mom,getting my hair cut and going to buy dvds to watch during the hols :)

If he doesn't even care, why should you? PS I was bored when I wrote this haha

2009-05-27T21:48:00.000-07:00

Get over him. He's not even worth it. He is not worth your time or your tears. Yeah, you loved him, I know that. And I know you just can't see yourself with anyone other than him, I get that. I've been there. But why should you spend all your time sitting at home, bawling your eyes out and wondering where he is and who he is with. Do you honestly think he is thinking about you? Don't give him what he wants. He doesn't even deserve it. So what if he doesn't talk to you; do you honestly wanna be friends with an asshole like him anyways? Thing is I know you still do. But give it time. Because all he would do is talk about his new girlfriend and just try and make you jealous, do you really wanna hear that? No. Screw him and his girlfriend. He will be sorry. When he decided he just did not love you the same. Trust me, he will be sorry. Maybe not now but eventually. And don't you sit there thinking he won't be sorry I know you are. But I guarantee you now; He will be sorry. So don't go on spending your nights waiting for that one phone call you know your never gonna get. Or that IM you know he will never send you simply because he likes to ignore you. He likes to pretend he does not see you online, he does it outta spite just because he knows its killing you. When he walks past you in the hallways he is gonna look past you, but you need to know he will do that cuz he knows somewhere inside you, it will hurt. &i ain't gonna lie to you. It will hurt. It will hurt alot. But it will hurt even more when you see her name and how much he loves her in his profile. It's all gonna hurt. Knowing you're not the girl that's making him smile. Knowing you're not the first person he thinks of when he wakes up and the last before he goes to sleep. Knowing you're not the face on his background of his phone anymore. Knowing if he hasn't already he will delete the album of pictures of you he has on his phone. Knowing you won't be spending every single moment possible with him. Knowing there's not gonna be anymore late night phone calls fighting about who loves who the most. And you know what, today, tomorrow, next week, months from now; your phone will go off with a text message, you will instantly grab your phone hoping it's him saying he wants to give your relationship another shot. But trust me; hes got too much pride. Even if he wanted to be back with you, he wouldn't tell you. You're soon gonna realize he doesn't care about you anymore and he won't be the first person you call when you're upset. He won't be the one to put that smile back on your face. And yea it's gonna hurt; its gonna hurt like hell. But you know what you're gonna do? Your gonna hold your head up. You are gonna show him your better than him and you don't need him in your life. Because if he sees you sad and you let him know how much he hurt you; he's just gunna be a bigger asshole and feel no sympathy. But when he finally sees you having the time of your life without him; hes finally gonna look and remember how happy he used to be with you. You're gonna prove to him that he made the biggest mistake of his life letting you go+ that you never really needed him anyways. <3

Be clearly aware of the stars and infinity on highhh.

2009-05-27T21:15:00.001-07:00

Sometimes late at night I think about all the things that have been, all the things that haven't, and all the things yet to be. If my heart could explode into a billion tiny pieces and scatter themselves all over the world. If I could live on sunlight and city sounds and fall asleep in those thousands of lighted windows. I wonder if this world will ever make sense to me, if I will ever truly understand anything, and if there's really anything to understand at all..

It's not that I believe everything happens for a reason. It's just that I think that some things are meant to be broken. Imperfect. Chaotic. It's the universes way of providing contrast, you know? There has to be a few holes in the road, because that's just how life is.

I wake up and tear drops, they fall down like rain .

2009-05-27T21:08:00.000-07:00

regret. guilt. anger. sorrow. emptiness.

It's agony. Complete, excruciating agony. It's like your heart is being ripped out from your chest and stomped on. You can't breathe. You don't want to eat. You can't function. It's the most intense pain you'll ever feel, and the worst part is there's no way to relieve it. It's unyielding, merciless torture. And you know it's yours for life. This is how I feel about you. But serious shit, you just dont notice a single fucking thing .

Gotta have em!

2009-05-27T20:56:00.000-07:00

Boredom:(

2009-05-27T20:52:00.001-07:00

I've been blogging since 9 am now, and I cant stop lol. Ahh. No one is online on msn. whywhywhy? :X

It happens fast for some people and slow for others. Accidents or gravity, we all end up mutilated.

2009-05-27T20:50:00.000-07:00

I didn't particularly want to live much longer than that. Life seemed rather daunting. It seems so to me even now. Life seemed too long a time to have to stick around, a huge span of years through which one would be required to tap-dance, and smile, and be great! And be happy! And be amazing! And be precocious! I was tired of being too much, too intense, too manic. I was tired of people, and I was incredibly tired with myself. I wanted to do whatever 'Amazing Thing' I was expected to do and be done with it. Go to sleep. Go to heaven where there was nothing, but bathtubs and books.

And she thinks no one will care about her as long as the only thing she's bleeding is mascara .

2009-05-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

I need you,okay.Why is it so hard for you to understand?

2009-05-27T20:46:00.000-07:00

It's hard to forget pain,
But it's even harder to remember sweetness.
We have no scars to show for happiness.
We learn so little from peace.

There's only a few things I've wanted to hold on to;
One being the color of the sky so blue,
And every feeling I've ever felt when I was touching you.

I never dreamed it'd be this way.
I've lost any chance for me to say,
To say that I miss you, say that I love you.
Will someone please tell me I'm okay? I hate this feeling of depression. Really.

You drive away from my car crash of a heart .

2009-05-27T20:35:00.000-07:00

We have a disconnected sense of reality. You think you can take back the words you've said or fix the mistakes you've made, but you can't. You just can't. And by the time you wake up and realize that, it's often too late. The damage is done.Secret #36Just when I thought I was starting to get over him, those dreams where I am standing next to him started again.
So, please forgive me for what I've done.
No, you can't stay mad at the setting sun.
Cause we all get tired, I mean eventually,
And there's nothing left to do but sleep.
We're all damaged it seems, some of us more than others. We carry the damage with us from childhood, then as grownups. We give as well as we get. Ultimately, we all do damage, and then, we set about the business of fixing whatever we can.
I'm not saying I have nothing.
I'm not saying that I'm gone completely.
It's just sometimes, it's all a bit too hard to handle.
Sometimes I feel like it's too much.
I'm not going to do anything stupid
Because I know that it will get better,
It has to, right?
Otherwise, there wouldn't be anyone who
Has lived past their teenage years.
But for now, just for now, it hurts.